Work-Life Balance (before you go off edge)

by Dania Dbaibo Darwish

One of the first things I do with a new client is to examine their wheel of life. I consider it an eye-opener and an excellent way to start the process of progress. It gives a bird’s-eye view of their levels of satisfaction related to their: career; finances; health; relationships; romantic life; personal growth; fun and recreation; and their physical environment.

The eight areas of the wheel of life are interconnected. Low fulfillment in any one area can spill over to the other areas, thereby negatively affecting our overall well-being. We, therefore, cannot neglect any one area.

Each of us fills multiple roles in life: the true self, career role, son/daughter, parent, spouse, friend, community volunteer, etc. Juggling our multiple, and sometimes conflicting, roles and responsibilities can be difficult. When we’re not able to maintain a healthy balance, it can result in loss of focus, lowered performance, stress, depression, health problems, or even complete burn-out.

So, how can you best balance the different aspects of the wheel of life? Here are 6 steps you can take:

  1. Fill in the wheel of life: Find out which life areas you’re very dissatisfied with and need your attention most. What can you improve? What are you willing to improve? (There’s a difference between the two!)

The first step to any change is awareness. It has been said that 50% of solving any problem lies in knowing what it is, so get clear on what’s not working for you. Then start taking serious gradual steps to implement changes. Nothing will be magically resolved on its own!

  • Set SMART goals: Once you identify the opportunities for improvement, set Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timed (SMART) goals, and break them down into small, easy to achieve, steps.

For instance, if you find that you are not very satisfied in the family and friends area, perhaps due to being over-worked, specify that you need to “spend more quality time with family or friends on weekends”. The way to achieve this may be to arrange for gatherings or outings.

Always define: “how”, “when”, “with whom”, “number of times”, etc. Note your SMART goals with their specifics on a sheet of paper and review them at the start of each day.

  • Manage your time: Make the best use of those 86,400 seconds each day; managing them well is key to your productivity on all levels.

Many of us claim not to have the time to, for instance, read (for personal growth), or exercise (for physical health). Well, that’s not very accurate. You can always make the time for important things. It’s just that you may not have taken a serious decision to actually commit to doing things of importance. When we face a serious health issue, don’t we find the time to implement our doctor’s advice? 

So, think hard of that wheel of life. What can, and should you do to become happier? Incorporate it into your schedule and update the “when” on your SMART goals sheet.

  • Establish healthy rituals: On average, it takes 21 days to establish a new habit; by then the neural pathways in the brain will have become strong enough to make the behavior automatic which will free up your mind and allow you to spend your mental energy on other worthy and beneficial tasks. So, what healthy routines can you plan among your goals now?
  • Use a journal: Be it for your personal, or professional life, keeping a journal to plan your days in line with your goals will provide structure, clarity, and commitment. It facilitates organizing your time and taking the necessary steps to balance your life. Journaling your “to do list” and planning the days and dates for each task, will enable you to become more realistic in what you can achieve in one day, a week, or a full month.

Remember to remain flexible as you proceed throughout the days and shift what you couldn’t do on a specific day to a later date and time. Your journal will eventually reflect your productivity and help you keep things on track.

  • Manage your stress: Keep an eye on your life stressors and take measures to reduce their effects. Focus on changing either the situation or your reaction.

Changing the situation means you either alter it (e.g. change your job) or avoid it (e.g. take a different route while commuting to escape traffic). When changing the situation is not possible, you can only change the way you feel about it. You need to stop fretting about what’s bothering you and accept that it just is (e.g. a negative colleague working in the same office) or adapt to it (i.e. looking at the big picture of what truly matters).

Avoid bottling up any tension by frequently using quick stressbusting techniques such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, listening to music, seeking social support, etc.

These few basic steps can help you start creating a more balanced life. Research has proven that those who have clearly defined written goals are most likely to thrive. So, take the time to note them down and assess and revise them regularly.

Bear in mind that adding new habits to your daily routine may entail giving up some other things. Why don’t you start off by making a “don’t do list” to identify “time-wasters”? Then, continue to MAKE the time to do the things that will help you balance it all.

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